Slumdogs, Millionaires, Tigers

Shantaram is a novel by Gregory David Roberts, published in 2003, detailing his experiences travelling through India as an escaped convict. When I first read it, it blew me away, with Roberts’ elegant descriptions of Indian society, and its compelling narrative. Reading it again this summer brings back that familiar butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling, when I know I’m experiencing something marvellous, knowing where things are going, eager to get there. That feeling when you watch Into the Wild and wonder why the hell you’re pathetic enough to be in your pyjamas at 2 in the afternoon.

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This isn’t a book review, despite it’s elementary-school-esque beginning and my gushing introductory appraisal of the novel. The book made me consider something that bothers me often, something I hadn’t though of when I’d first read it, at a plausibly inappropriate age of 15. The glimpses into Indian society that the novel gives you are crafted beautifully. The depictions of the colourful and the grotesque, the serene and the painful, the loud and the horrifying are created in a sophisticated manner, as Roberts describes the culture – our culture – in an almost matter-of-fact manner, his experiences being the salient feature of the narrative. Everything is relevant, everything is engaging, and he pulls you into his world effortlessly.

On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the grotesque creation that managed to win the Man Booker Prize the year it was published – Aravind Adiga’s The White Tiger. What bothered me about this book were the cultural depictions, similar to those in Shantaram,  used in order to further the plot. The aim of this book, it seemed to me, was to shock – to sensationalise Indian culture, and every gritty, horrifying aspect of it. I have no delusions when it comes to India, and the shockingly disgusting aspects of our society. Three rapes in Bangalore within the last three days – we’re used to hearing about these things, seeing them, listening to people talk about them. But what Roberts uses as an aspect of his narrative, Adiga uses as the central, compelling factor. His plot is mediocre at best, and the filth and grime that comes with his narrative is what he needs to keep the reader both disgusted and attentive. Sure, it’s probably the sign of a good writer – after all, words are the only tool he has, and he’s got to use them well. But I would’ve appreciated his novel a lot more if he had something more than India’s poverty and filth to rely on to carry his story forward.

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As a culture, India is both tremendously easy and extremely difficult to illustrate. On one hand, it’s a whole new level of complicated, explaining the nuances of Indian society to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. I face that problem everyday, and there are some things that most people just won’t get if you haven’t grown up here, or even lived here. But the easy bit is using those complexities to fashion a tale – take a vague story about life’s struggles, throw in grotesque, horrifying descriptions and you’ve got a soup going. After all, didn’t Danny Boyle do that with Slumdog Millionaire and win an Oscar for it? It’s an easy formula. Adiga and Boyle show us that. It’s easy to impress an audience of unsuspecting, unexperienced, unknowing people, who are both horrified and fascinated at what they’re witnessing. So much so that they throw an award at it. “It’s different”, they will all say, “It’s a whole new take, so gritty and no-nonsense”. Which is ironic, because pure nonsense is a lot of what it is. Sure, horrifying, gruesome things happen in India all the time, and we’re desensitised, as Indians, to most of it. However, one author taking that and using it to climb his way up the literature food-chain isn’t any form of brilliant or brave, it’s just clever, at best. It’s not honest, it’s smart – he knows what we like to read, and I applaud him for that. He works his way around critics and readers and even Indians like me by “making us think”. Roberts, on the other hand, had a story to tell, and does so effortlessly. That is no-nonsense – not a sensationalised version of some feeble tale.

India is bright and beautiful and colourful and loud. It, like any other society, is also gritty and gruesome and horrifying and shocking and frightening. The key is to capture these aspects in a manner that tells it as it is, which Adiga could be convinced that he is doing, who knows? What he seems to end up with, however, is a hugely successful novel that uses the terrifying aspects as a substitute for a more engrossing storyline. I have no issues with some India-bashing, heaven knows, we need it. What I do have issues with is the inability of an author to depict the complexities of India in a sophisticated manner.

So, on that note, sticking to Salman Rushdie and Gregory David Roberts, would be my suggestion. If you want horrifying stories, watch the news. If you want an exploitation of them, then Adiga’s books are probably for you. I just prefer my novels written with a little more finesse, that’s all.

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The Tough Gets Going

‘Tumultuous’ is the best word to describe the last few days. After dealing with nasty surprises and crushing disappointment, I’ve learnt that things can turn around as quickly as they can fall to pieces.

My last melodramatic post was about heart-break and shattered dreams. This one deals with the aftermath, when things all work themselves out, as they are wont to do. After crying over my project proposal supposedly going up in flames, I had a meeting with another potential supervisor today, which resulted in things working out a lot better than they had the first time around. I’m gloriously happy again, and I’ve decided to acknowledge my key learnings of the day.

Do the things that scare you. Like that Eleanor Roosevelt quote. 

It’s worth doing the things that make your legs feel like jelly, and your stomach feel like it’s hosting a family of restless butterflies. Today, what scared me was meeting another potential supervisor for my project proposal. The thought of talking to one of the most intimidating people I had ever encountered had me up for a large portion of last night. Your mind has the terrible habit of making things out to be a much bigger deal than they actually are, which is something that’s worth acknowledging when you feel that familiar wave of fear wash over you. And you know what? When you do the things that make you feel that fear, there’s nothing that feels as good as when they work out for the best. And if they don’t work out, you know you’ve tried, and that in itself is a huge accomplishment, really. It’s easy being in your comfort zone, it’s easy giving up on things that are far too difficult to deal with. But in the long run, it’s worth a lot more when you have to fight for something, even if you’re fighting against your propensity to shy away from a nerve-racking experience.

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Your impressions can be wrong.

So you thought that someone was hugely intimidating, or would be totally against your ideas or beliefs. You thought that someone wasn’t as nice, or that someone wouldn’t be as helpful. We’re all human – we stereotype, we categorise, we leap to conclusions. It’s human nature. Not only does it take courage to look past your possibly wrong impressions, it often results in a strange feeling of satisfaction when you’re pleasantly surprised by how different things can be from how they seem. It’s easy to stick to your convenient opinions, and with what you know. But sometimes, you’re just simply wrong. You have to give things a chance.

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Stress is bad. It’s very, very bad.

I’m the last person to preach about stress, considering the amount of time I spend wrapped up in it. However, if these past few weeks have taught me anything, it’s that all those various medical/psychological papers about the strong correlation between stress and illness are right. Over the last month, the times I’ve felt seriously ill have all been when I’ve worried incessantly about things, and driven myself insane trying to fix them. It’s simply not worth it. It’s hard to let go and just relax a lot of the time, but it’s crucial that you try. Because there’s nothing that makes stress worse than the exacerbation of some annoying viral infection. It’s a vicious cycle, and you need to put a stop to it as soon as you possibly can.

Things work out. Your parents were right. 

After wasting a lot of time worrying about the project, and being angsty and dramatic about how heart-broken I was, I just feel stupid now. It’s great that I can laugh about my possible overreaction to the situation, and the amount of time I wasted feeling crappy about it, but looking back, it just wasn’t worth it at all. You have got to let go and trust that things will work out. And when your parents tell you it’ll be okay, they’re right. Because they know these things. It sucks, but they do.

So, yeah. Those are a few of my learnings from today. It’s barely 2.30 pm, and I feel like an enriched soul. Or I’m just very full. Either way, it’s nice to write about some exciting developments. It’s been a good day, so far. And for that I am grateful!

And on that sappy note, it’s about time I had a shower.

Ciao, and make someone happy today!

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Interlude

The last month or so of my summer has been hectic. I’ve been on my feet, working two different jobs, and spending whatever free time I get reading everything I can lay my hands on. As my intensive reading program (which is my obnoxious way of saying that I’ve read a lot of books) has progressed, I’ve accumulated a range of words that I find interesting – words I don’t normally use, and probably never have.

Beyond my resolution to write them down and tape them to a wall or something, I’ve decided to invest some of the limited amount of time I have right now into writing about them. Killing two birds with one stone, really. I want to use these words, and, I’ve been feeling restless. The kind of restless that is solved by some solid writing. The kind of solid writing that requires inspiration, which I have been lacking for some time now, unfortunately. 

Thus, I shall be forcing myself to write more by using this project of sorts as a broad theme for my future posts. Hopefully, this will get me on my feet and back in the game. In a worst-case scenario, I’ll end up with a collection of rubbish blog posts. Win-win, right? Yeah. I thought so. 

And so, turning my back on the voice in my head that’s already beginning to protest, I begin with the next post. 

Also, I was kidding about the voices in my head. I swear. 

Did I say voices? I meant voice. Dammit, this is getting redundant. 

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OCD, Dostoevsky and Rants – A Standard Week

I have a nervous itch. You know that feeling of restlessness and entrapment, where you feel like you’re stagnant and helpless? I don’t mean that at all. This is more like a mental twitch. Something that makes me want to look at the ordered pile of books on my couch – my summer reading list – just to check, just to see how they look; and if it needs fixing.

People joke – I joke – about how I may have OCD. An anxiety disorder of some sort, I was once laughingly told. OCD is a fad now, bizarrely enough. Everyone seems to love throwing their chests out and proclaiming, “Oh yeah, I kinda like things in a particular way, you know? Like in an order and stuff. Haha, yeah, I’m slightly OCD about things like that”. Since when did OCD become an adjective? What crusty botch of nature (harsh, I know, but I’ve been wanting to use that for sometime now, and carpe diem and all that), akin to those that say, “ATM machine”, ignores the fact that the abbreviation extends to ‘Obsessive Compulsive Disorder’? So saying, “I’m OCD about that”, makes you sound like a proper prat  Everybody looks at the whole Monica Geller aspect of it – the slightly kooky, constant organizing that is such a hinderance (cue laugh track) but also maybe even cute, and slightly endearing to the Chandler Bing-esque man of your dreams who loves you for it. Everyone sees the glamour in being that person with an odd trait, but no one thinks of what it actually means to have a disorder like that – constant hand-washing, the peeling of your skin because of all the abuse it’s faced, the constant tick of your mind as you try to count things. Nope, none of that. It’s all a cute need to be in control and an oh-so-funny requirement for cleanliness and structure.

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Yeah, sorry. I’m ranting again. Heaven knows, I don’t have the disorder. If anything, my disorder would be an irrational, steaming dislike for people caused be a snap judgement I make of them when they say something as irksome as “I’m slightly OCD”. Then again, isn’t being judgmental only human?

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 I recently began reading Dostoevsky, ‘The Idiot’. After the first volume, I was mildly surprised and pleased. I had enjoyed it. I entertained the idea of being one of those rare, fascinating people that genuinely enjoy Russian literature. I pictured myself having informed, spirited conversations about the ultimate simplicity of the novel, and how Dostoevsky was actually a writer that survived the test of time. And then I read the second volume, which I put down halfway through, and moved on to Chuck Palahniuk, which was more up my alley.

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Carrie Wright > Prince Myshkin

I’m not sure what my problem is, really? I do things to finish them, and it worries me. As I eat lunch, I wonder about dinner. As I read, I wonder what I’m going to feel like when I’ve finished the book – will I recommend it to a friend, what would I read next, is this book going to change my life? Stop and smell the roses – I’ve never known how to do that. I’m yet to recover that feeling that I used to have when watching things, or reading things, when I’d get completely lost, and lose hours, ultimately surfacing from the unadulterated experience of being totally immersed in something. That never happens, though. There are always thoughts: things to do, triggers that cause your mind to meander down unexpected paths – the whole stream of consciousness thing. It’s unfortunate. I’d love to be able to just switch off and focus. To get lost without worrying about how I’m going to be found. Or some idea expressed with fitting magniloquence.

Anyway, that’s enough of pondering for today. Besides, I have no more garbled ruminations to express.

Thus, back to the sleep mobile!

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Thoughts = Stars

This is a pseudo-sequel to my last post about the movie The Dreamers. Recently, I recommended the movie to a painfully-hipster friend of mine. (I use the term “painfully-hipster” in the hope that he will read this, providing me with much amusement. But anyway, I diverge). In a manner expected of him, he reviewed the movie in a series of succinct direct messages on Twitter. I thought it would be fun to put it on my blog, following my inspired comments about the movie. Mostly because I found his review(s) pretty interesting, and a little bit because his pretentiousness amuses me. (You know I kid, Nish). So voila, here it is:

“Its nostalgia and narcissism are ultimately two versions of the same thing, and neither can reopen cross-cultural channels. Instead they keep this story stuck in the past – frozen and intact and irrelevant. However, fans of film and gorgeous naked people of either sex will find much here to interest them. It’s an amusing, sophisticated movie, cheerfully erotic, and played with unselfconscious conviction by its three young actors. 3.5/5 🙂 ”

He had remarked that he would watch it and write a review worthy of my blog. And whaddaya know, he did! I’m still giggling, and he’s probably going to resent my constant jabs at him, but c’est la vie. (La vie)

In other news, just finished reading John Green’s breathtaking masterpiece The Fault in Our Stars, so I must go back to feeling like my life has no meaning as I have finished the book. In one setting, consisting of sitting with my feet on my desk for 3 hours at a stretch. I wish I’d paced myself. 

A comment by Augustus sufficiently summarizes my state of mind whilst writing these posts. I’ve attached it as an image because this one was just so pretty:

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Yep, that’s about right.

And on that note, I must be off. Some attempts at revising would be good right about now.

Ciao, and make good choices!

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“Only the French would house a cinema inside a palace”

It’s almost 1 am, and being the wild student that I am, I’m still awake, watching movies and generally internet-ing. Crazy life, I know.

I’ve just finished watching this very French (in both language and content) film called The Dreamers, featuring Eva Green in a shockingly risque role. This movie, oh man. Prepare to be stunned into possible discomfort, followed by a want (need?) to drink black coffee and read books and pack a bag and just go anywhere. It brings out the earnest pretentiousness in you. That phrase is the only one that fits over here, and it makes complete sense, for some reason. I’ve stared at it for a bit, and can’t seem to find something to replace it with. Hmm.

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Anyway. So that movie put me in an insomniac-with-a-typewriter mood. (Yeah, I said typewriter. Sue me! I just watched a movie about student riots in France in the ’60s! This should be expected)

Except the issue is, I don’t really know what I want to write about. I want to just write. Ever been in that kind of mood? In which you want to do something – like sing or work or make something, but have no clue about what to sing or do or create? I doubt it’s not just me.

The Dreamers got me thinking about how crazy people are. Why is it that we live every day of our lives without considering just how truly amazing our minds are. When you look at something someone has come up with, read something someone has written, and think to yourself, “How did they even think of that?”, why don’t you actually ponder over how someone actually came up with that? Why don’t I? Why don’t any of us? Because it really is fantastic that we can do this. Years and years of scientific study about cognition and neuroscience – some of which I just covered in a lecture today – and still not enough people who actively consider just how much we should all be doing, all the time, instead of taking ourselves for granted. Taking someone else for granted can always be noticed/brought up. But not when it comes to ourselves. Perhaps it should.

Instead of living each day in the acknowledgement of the fact that we, as a species, have so much to offer, so much to make use of, we go about our daily tasks, not giving a thought to how we can do something memorable or different. It’s depressing, really.

I know that when I wake up and head for brunch tomorrow, this wave of inspiration, which hits you at that time of the night when you’re too awake to be tired anymore, would have gone, and I will be back to procrastinating and moaning about how I’m not doing all the work I’m supposed to. But hopefully this blog post is something I can come back to and read again, and then remember to be more inspired by the things around me. Maybe write more. Who knows.

If not that, there’s always a multi-linguistic film around the corner to bring out the musing hipster in me.

And thus concludes the vocalisation of my garbled thoughts.

To all, a goodnight!

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Tragedy, tragedy has befallen

Life works in the worst way possible.

I invested an hour into producing my most inspired piece of writing yet. It was meaningful to me, and profound – even if I do say so myself. It was full of feeling and magic and experiences that shake me to the core.

I press to Publish it and in an act of defiance, the post suddenly, quite literally, disappears. It disappears. It’s gone.

So I sit here, mourning the loss of something that moved me, that I was proud of and truly in love with. Something that I’ve written after a long, long time, after feeling inspired after ages. I feel the urge to swear extremely loudly. UGH.

And I watch this stupid website save the post I’m currently typing out seconds after I stop writing. And curse it to the depths of hell. Infernal contraption.

I’m exhausted.

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